shoulds

I should have rested the day before so I wasn't so tired in the pool.
I should have not messed up getting the treadmill up to speed.
How is that girl running that fast? What is her age?
How is it all the work I do and I'm still a slow swimmer - but I was catching up with that gal wasn't I?

When will I have a gauge of performance that does not include comparison to other people?

.44 mi swim,
6.4 mi bike
1.72 mi run.

Not bad results. Just...very typical Caroline results. Well, what did I expect? I AM Caroline! I keep going to the website looking for the rankings. Not uploaded yet, nope. UGH! I have to remember that the run and bike numbers are better...even the swim is a bit better for me. And I'm a year older. And I was tired because I had swam a mile and a half the night before.

Guy next to me in the pool looked like the character on a bottle of Mr. Clean. Holy shit. He was beautiful. But I look at that in a way not as if I want to have that as much as to be that. What would it be like to have a torso that strong? What would it take to have that?